Trying to Avoid a Writing Hiatus

Many times, writing can be hard. You'll experience writer's block along the way. However, a writer can also experience things that would make it hard for them to get creative. Trust me, this has been happening to me lately. But the last thing that I want to do is STOP WRITING. I can't afford to stop writing, because that's supposed to be my livelihood. I've spent my whole life pursuing this dream of being a writer.

So now, you may be asking: What do you mean by "writing hiatus"? Well, first of all, a hiatus is like taking a long break due to circumstances. So, when combined with "writing," my definition of writing hiatus is taking a long break from writing due to circumstances. That's exactly what I want to avoid.

So, how is a writing hiatus caused? Well, I'll give you a run-through, based on my situation:
1. Finances
With my living paycheck to paycheck with my online-tutoring, it has been almost hard to focus on my writing. If my writing isn't generating any money, then I need to work.
2. Being confused

For a long time, I felt that my purpose in life was being a writer. But now that I've graduated from school and work at home (again, paycheck to paycheck), what am I to do? I end up doubting myself sometimes, because I look at everyone around me--either their working at a job, or raising a family, or both. And me? I'm still sitting at my laptop trying to figure out what to do with my life.
And I sometimes wonder if my family is still proud of me or not... I know I've made mistakes in my life, but... can I ever be redeemed?
One time, my grandmother said that she didn't like that I was living "like a hermit," because I barely went anywhere or outside the house. And that comment really hurt me, because one: I try to go out, but I worry about money; and two: if I do go out, it's to buy groceries or to buy something to eat. So, I just try to take it day by day; but sometimes, I would wish that I was a different person--like a teacher, or someone who works on computers, or something... anything that I never would've picked up on. I would wish that I was something different, instead of a daughter/granddaughter/sister who made mistakes, or who was stubborn saying that she "didn't want to work just any job." If I could go back in time and change careers, I would.
3. Depression
(This is a big one) In March of 2018 (last year), I was diagnosed with anxiety, because of an incident at my substitute teaching job--where a kid got smart with me, and wasn't listening to me at all. And despite taking medication for my anxiety, I would still get depressed at times. I would get depressed to the point where I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. And I would constantly ask God to make this go away. Ask boldly, and He'll hear you, I kept telling myself. But...

The point is, life can get in the way of writing, sometimes, because you worry about the circumstances. My advice is to keep writing, regardless. But also reach out to people about what you're going through. If people don't listen to you the first time, then keep telling them. (They're going to listen at some point.)

Okay, being a "hermit"? Not my intention. I just wish that people would understand that, because yes, I am trying to get my life together; and I am trying to sell my product through endless promoting. I know this will take time, but I need to stay positive that things will come through.

Closing
Now, I'm sorry if this blog post was a bit emotional, but part of me wanted to open up about my situation. Depression and anxiety suck really hard. One of my friends had recently posted a picture on Facebook about someone dying from depression, because nobody was listening to him or giving him much attention (despite how big and supportive a family he had), and that people who are depressed are "not weak-minded." In hindsight, that hits the nail right on the head, because depression just takes everything from you: your joy, your happiness; everything that you care about gets flushed down the toilet, because you're sad. I don't want to end up being a part of that statistic of people suffering from depression. I don't want that for my life, because I know that God put me on this earth and gave me a purpose--I just need to find out what that purpose is, you know?

So, the good news is, I'm still going to write more, because... well, obviously, it's what's keeping me going. And also, I had plenty of time to brainstorm on Book 3 of the Dolphin Princess series. I really want to get back to my rough draft to Book 3, and just go for it!

TO BUY BOOK 1: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dolphin-princess-veronica-gonzalez/1129202183

TO PRE-ORDER BOOK 2: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books/1130458196?ean=9781987021233

Veronica Gonzalez