(A recent picture of me, 4/14/19)
As a writer, you got to make money while you're writing your stories, right? You can't expect book sales to be your meal ticket. Therefore, you have to find work to stand the tide.
I remember being unemployed for more than a year--I had spent all of 2016 looking for work and going to interviews, but going home empty-handed. And it wasn't until April of 2017 that I had finally found work with KIPP San Antonio (a charter school).
Though, my employment with KIPPSA didn't last long, because as substitute teacher, I couldn't handle the students. So, after April 2018 (the month and year I had quit my substitute teaching job), I was back in the bitter cycle of being unemployment. And even as I now have two work-at-home jobs--online-tutoring and transcribing audio files for a company with clients--I still feel that I'm chained to my desk at home doing these jobs that offer little income. It even gotten to the point where my family would see me as a hermit (Believe me, my own family called me that, a hermit).
Anyway, my recent interview was with IDEA Public Schools; they were looking for a tutor (this was an immediate-hiring position). When I was applying for this position, I was thinking that spending pretty much a whole school year tutoring online with Chegg Tutors would count as a year of tutoring experience.
So, IDEA contacts me for an interview, and I respond with a yes. And this past Tuesday (4/16/19), I showed up at their Carver campus. Now, mind you: At that point in time, I was already burnt out from going to interviews, and receiving numerous rejection emails. And apparently, all of this showed, as I was being interviewed by two people. They told me that I looked nervous and uncomfortable. Let me tell ya: If they smell blood, then they'll come after you. So, let's just say that I was bleeding profusely, and they stripped me to my bones.
This was what happened: I screwed up. I broke down crying, telling them that I was very frustrated, and that I was struggling to make a living. Now, mind you: This is the first time that I went to an interview and broke down crying. This never happened to me before. So, they knew that I was at my breaking point--and I was.
What had set me off was them describing the position to me: having to be around students, and disciplining them if they get out of hand. And when they asked me how things were when I was with KIPPSA, I couldn't take it anymore. That was when the tears came. They had no idea how terrible it was for me when I was a substitute teacher. Let me say: If a job makes you miserable all the time, then something's wrong. If a job weakens you to the point where you need to take anxiety medication every day, then something's wrong. So, I tried to communicate to them what KIPPSA was like, but I couldn't do it, because I didn't want to relive the misery.
Long story short: I knew I wasn't going to get the job. I knew that I had screwed. I knew I was going to be stuck working at home, and living paycheck to paycheck. Though, to be fair, the interviewers were nice and understanding of my situation, and they said that they've "been there." However, I left that interview scared to tell my family how it went. I was already embarrassed, and I didn't want to pour salt into the wound.
Now, I wasn't sure whether to tell this story or not, because the wound is still fresh. But I tell this story as just one example of being a starving artist. It's hard, but what am I to do? All I can do is keeping writing.
TO BUY BOOK 1:
Paperback: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dolphin-princess-veronica-gonzalez/1129202183?ean=9781987057799
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Veronica Gonzalez
No comments:
Post a Comment